Okay. Hold on to your hats. Take a deep breath. I feel inspired to blog about my feelings at this interesting time of my life. I'm not sure where this blog is gonna take you.....

I am home on "vacation" for a couple weeks. First of all, isn't it strange for me to say I'm taking a vacation to go HOME? Most people take a vacation to get away from home. It's just one more indication that my life is weird! Anyway, it is an interesting time to take a break from tour considering we only have 3 months of tour left. I think I possibily may have skipped taking a vacation if it hadn't been my Grandmother's 90th birthday. However, I felt it was very important for me to be home for that special event and also to see all the people that just got their feelings hurt when I just mentioned that I almost skipped a vacation (yes, I have missed ALL of you and am so glad to be home to see you!). So anyway, it is a strange time to be home, taking a break, when I think about the fact that in 3 short months my tour will be over and the 34 people who have become my traveling family will all go to their various homes across the world.

Before coming home I knew I had to mentally prepare myself for the one big question I knew I would be asked over and over again.

The question: "What are you going to do when tour is over in December?"

The answer: "I don't know."

Yes, It's true. I don't know.

A few weeks ago, at God's prompting, I pulled out my "Experiencing God" book from the bottom of the suitcase I store on the bus. If you have never read it you should. It has some awesome truths about God's plans for His people. Today I was reading the chapter called "God Pursues a Love Relationship with You." Here are a few things I underlined:

*He created you for a love relationship with Himself. That is the very purpose of your life. This love relationship can and should be real and personal to you.

* If you want God to reveal Himself to you, you must love Him and obey Him.

* "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30). Everything depends on this! Everything in your Christian life, everything about knowing Him and experiencing Him, everything about knowing His will depends on the quality of your love relationship to God.


So I was just thinking about that and how it fits into my thoughts about my "after tour life." I really don't know what God has planned for me yet. In some ways I feel a sense of urgency to "figure it out". In other ways it is just exciting to be waiting for Him to reveal His plans for me. When I am completely honest with myself I realize it's a little frightening to consider that I don't know what's next. I like having my life planned out. I don't want to worry about how I will take care of my responsibilities like my house and health insurance. Or wonder how I will ever be able to fix my car that is falling apart or buy a new one. Then I remember, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matt 6:33) The author of Experiencing God describes it by saying "Out of His love for you, He will provide all else that you need-when you love Him and Him alone". So today I am basking in that Love from my Father and loving Him back.